This Blog

As we approach the end of our service in Romania, and the end of 2008, I'm reflecting about so many things, including this blog.

I had no idea, when we left for Peace Corps service, how difficult it would be to keep a blog. Maybe I envisioned a chipper travelogue about sites and sounds and happenings. Little did I know what a challenge this would be. The sites here are often ugly, the sounds frightening, and the smells horrific.

The biggest challenge is to post about the place and people without belittling or humiliating them. So many of our "adventures" are the result of misunderstandings; usually humorous, but many serious. Do I write about all that? Do I share the real frustration of living in a foreign culture? It would be so easy to tell the stories in a way that demeans others, especially since we so often feel demeaned ourselves.

For example, the story about running to catch the night train. This is funny now, but at the time we were frustrated by the unpredictably locked door on our car, and the "I could care less" attitude of the man blocking our progress. This particular story I can tell without too much negativity. But there are so many more!

Am I really just a Big Complainer? I used to see myself as optimistic, rising above all that nasty emotional stuff. But truthfully, many times I've felt angry, extremely pissed off, humiliated beyond belief. I have felt that the people here were less than me because they don't behave well or predictably. Then I feel guilty; they are just people after all, living their lives, doing the best they can.

I came across another blog, called Can of Worms, by a man serving in Iraq. Although he also expresses frustration, he told an optimistic, positive story. He has less to feel positive about than I. I was humbled by that person and his insightful blog.

I've tried different approaches to this blog: a daily recording of weather (boring -- for me at least), a daily recording of activity (also boring, especially when days go by and I don't leave the apartment), a record of the interesting stories I hear (like gypsy fortune telling -- that was fascinating), an outlet for emotions (this turns into an "ad nauseum" recording about home sickness).

I've also been challenged by the concept of chronology in a blog. There are so many adventures. I often felt I couldn't tell one until I told another. Then I didn't tell any. I've pretty much abandoned this problem now. I just tell a story when I feel like telling it, not when it happened. So just know, the date of the blog is not always the date of the tale.

As we approach the end of our service, I feel a need to get stories told, out of the way -- like spring cleaning for the memory ... and the soul.

So please bear with me; this blog, if posted at all, may be ugly, frightening, smelly.

And maybe, just maybe, it will also contain tiny, germinating seeds of joy.

Any thoughts about what has been helpful or not so helpful about this blog? (Besides the long silences -- I know! I know!) What would you like to hear about? What are your burning questions about the Peace Corps or Romania? And more important, what are YOUR plans for the new year?